"He doesn't make mistakes

though I'm struggling now

i will trust in Him and wait"

"It seems like I aint ever gunna do it

i cant be everything that I aspire or desire to be

im feeling like Im in chains but truly im free

feeling like Im suffocating theres no way to breathe

But Im taking my deep breath living just to see Him"

"and even though Im tired he is giving me rest

and though my feet may get heavy the Lord is giving me strength"

Experiment

meager body

crushed between

two slabs

stricken heaving

beating

get me out of this

test lab

released into

the maze lab rat white bright light

no will to fight for a chance

running in circles you scrutinize my path

eyes black wide seeing only

an endless graph

do this do that

test me till im skin and rags

multiply me maximize me

inject me with pitiful laughs

cold tables cold desks cold knees

trembling in class

lab rat run

around till we are done

you will be free in a month

after a

test tube of fear the squeezing injections and stuns.

drink it up

and pretend its fun

God

where do you want me to go?

should i just stuff all my dreams

in a box

and tape it all up

tuck it away

for some other day

that may never come

how do i set those dreams free

in me?

where do you want me to go?

i feel pulling from the other side

of the water

still

when i close my eyes

i feel it painful

infecting

my veins

with

memory

what do you want of me?

how can i be faithful

now

where you have me?

make me consistent with your sheep

show me how to feed your sheep

i want to love you.

open my eyes to see no limit

nothing is impossible with you

you have been showing me this

give me faith God give me faith

i am locked up towards you

waiting for the clock to move

in a hot pursuit

to see you not want

me

Im ready for the fall

like a crooked cop

waiting to be locked up

trying to find something

to put you in cuffs

but you stare at me pure

i always question

if you are sure

you never asked from me

i stand guilty

of wishing you were filthy

not wanting you to see through me

because if you knew me

i wonder if you

would be through

with me

stone in my chest

even though im blessed

i need the beats

to know im complete

worthy of

your inquiries, your

smiles and

musings

Never let things that are most important be at the mercy of things that are not.

your joy is

a golden leaf

that grows from your

vine

i need it to survive

or

words will eat me up dry

please dont go so slow in the fallen snow

i cant see you past the

bare trees

begging for leaves

trembling for heat