To You, With All of My Heart

love is lost
when you cant stand
to work
through the grime
to get to grand
to see the shape
hidden in the sand
to hold and dust off that one
you committed your hand

when do we believe
we are perfectly clean?
when do we pretend
we are worth
betraying a friend?

when do we walk away
and say someone will never be okay
and say we are going a different way?
do we do that after committing our heart?
do we abandon our treasure like it 
is nothing but
faux art?
because your love won't bend
just the way you do?
because your love wants her own future
her own hopes too?
because distance can strangle and confuse
whats true?

when do we start walking away when someone cries?
when do we start believing our own twisted lies?
and leave our love as an unwanted whore
treated like nothing more than a monster struggling and poor
when all she did was beg to not be ignored
to work on the things that they both didnt understand or
abhorred.

but like a coward ---quiet you walk away.
with her dress white and clean
hung
for a special day?
with open arms that
only asked you 
to stay ?
all budgeted
to your liking
wasn't enough to sway?

she threw family as a scapegoat
it was never about that anyway
cant you see how you never let her in?
cant you see how
you scheduled her and penciled her in?

how she longed to be yours 
but you only gave scraps
as she craved
and poured her heart
till it was empty of sap

you treated her like a child
hungry you let her outside
a while
you confided in, and idolized them 
when she longed to be your
faithful friend

cant you see she
threw all aside and resigned
left her whole world for yours
with a smile?

but deep down she knew
you'd never do the same
and all you could do to her was
blame, blame, blame
the questioning sickening her brain


you told her to put you first 
but you never did the same

It was plain
to see 
she would live a life 
alone, as you became everything
you wanted to be

greedy 
selfish
and 
FREE.


she used her family 
just to see
if you loved her 
as recklessly 
as can be

If you loved her 
as she loved you 

if you'd 
give up 
your precious world
too.