Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. Prov 26:6

Today I realized, I do not know how to love people. I love myself and how people make me feel. I know very little of sacrificial love and putting others before myself. I feel far removed from what love is:


1 Corinthians 13:4-8

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

God please forgive me for not trusting. For being self seeking and envious. For dishonoring and being easily offended. For keeping a record of wrongs for not freely forgiving and embracing. Forgive me for going to a person to meet all my needs and not going to you. How can I love someone when I am only thinking of MYSELF AND MY FEELINGS? Oh God forgive me, my sin affects people. Thank you for showing me how messed up I am in the light of how much you love me. Oh God please fill me with a deeper understanding of your love. Drain what I know in my pious head into my stone heart. Lord, please give me a heart of flesh, in the name of Jesus. I don't want to keep my heart in a casket cold and dead like Lewis said. I want to love, I want to experience how to really love, not this fake stuff I am used to("loving" so a person can make me feel good, high expectations of others, desiring for someone to complete and heal me and make me feel loved! I am all about me!). Show me how to love like  you do, with an abandonment of self. Please God lead me in this. Show me the truth in your word about love, and losing my life to gain it. Help me to trust in your truth before I try to suck the life out of the people around me. Show me to trust in what real love is and care for my friends, family and boyfriend without thinking about how they can meet my needs. God please HELP ME TO PUT THE INTEREST OF OTHERS BEFORE MYSELF.

Phil. 2:4-5
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: