i feel as if
i am watching myself
as one watches the trees
change from bright green
to dull shades in winter.
Like a simple surveyor I am helpless;
no one can stop the seasons.
to put an end to their turning
i remember summer was there
alive,
singing birds, bright sun, crowds drunk
in laughter
but i watched it turn
to solemn cold, and quiet.
taking on a different persona.
chill and numb to heat and warmth.
i wait and watch for
the season's turning...
and for my own.

God. forgive me
i have sinned against you
and you alone.
and deep down
into my heart
i long to give you the things i hold on to
because
i miss you.
walking in your shadow
and hearing;
knowing your voice
in my sorrow
you made me smile
you gave me hope
you quieted my
racing longing heart
and this valley
has made me someone else
i do not know
cold and conformed
to lesser ideals
doubtful
and stoic
if there is any hope to
feel
to gain wisdom
to see you again
i beg you in the name of Jesus
to bend your ear to
your lost child
and bring me back home.
i only
ever feel
okay
when
i am
close
to
you.

i cannot think
my mind is clouded
and im trying to write papers
that are dripping with facts and numbers
when the only lines
that come to me are fitted
in prose..
flowery words
and images
big and small
and
beautiful.
mechanics
oh how i wish i could embrace them!
and that the ink of my pen
would flow!
it has been dry
for
far
too
long..
inspiration
i am longing for it
craving for
the right
words.

You shall be a CROWN OF BEAUTY in the hand of the LORD, a ROYAL DIADEM in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed FORSAKEN, and your land shall no more be termed DESOLATE but you shall be called MY DELIGHT IS IN HER and your land MARRIED, for the Lord delights in you, and your land shall be married. For as a young man marries a young woman . . . and as a bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you. (Isaiah 62:3-5)

attepting to write a paper on work

Here is the American dream.

Watch quick before 70 years of life pass you by.

Work as hard as you can, and gain as much wealth as possible.

Then your family will be happy and lives will be worth something.

And when you retire your boat and camero will be the perfect prize.

The high seas will call you and the road beckon you.

You will deck out your home with flat screen tvs

and then you will sit in front of them and find more things you need to buy.

The retirement money running out,

you will get a job again to pay for that watch you want and your wife's necklace.

Then your life will end, and all that you purchased will still be here.

Quick take hold to the American dream

i refuse I REFUSE
to give my heart away
any longer
oh would you
bind
my wandering
heart to you
hold
it
in your strong shepherd hands
and guard
and protect it
and keep it
and fill it
overwhelm it
was satisfaction.
let the want go away
and overflow and spill
with
with your
all powerful
consuming
unfailing
steadfast
love
i
just cant any longer
when left to my own devices
i
only
paint and wear
masks to impress
that dont incite a bit
of interest
but rather
casual
looks that turn away
and im left
wishing
to be known.

God have your way with me
forgive me for my sacrifice to you
of complacency
and weakness
i beg you for mercy
let me dwell in your goodness
let me wait on you
give me courage

amen AMEN father help us guide us !

"forge a new path in your life. do not settle for the lesser ideals that we've been told we can't exceed. fight to conquer complacency & you will see a brighter horizon. remember truth and fight to preserve it. don't be afraid of failure. if you fight your best, kid,you haven't failed. never deny the urge to be better, to rise above, to stand alone in the name of truth, justice, service, hope, and most of all, love."