if i am not found in you
then i am lost
if i am not whole in you then i am less
than half

longing to taste
the richest of fare

your unfailing never ending love
the motivation, the solace, the comfort, the delight
of my soul
bringing me from weary
to full at the mere dip into
the vast ocean of your love

“If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is not part of the Christian faith.

Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak.

We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

- C. S. Lewis in “The Weight of Glory”

Proverbs 17:22

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength.


"Memories mean more to me than dresses."

"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy."

- Anne Frank

"A pleasure is full grown only when it is remembered. You are speaking, Hman, as if the pleasure is one thing and the memory another. It is all one thing."

"...And how could we endure to live and let time pass if we were always crying for one day or one year to come back- if we do not know that everyday in a life fills the whole life with expectation and memory and that these are that day?"

-Out of the Silent Planet

i tried to write you
but i stopped
all caught up
in a web
i would only be giving you a thread
to unravel
to unravel me
and today I am
knotted up
could you untangle me?
I cant ...so I will give you thoughts
that are set aside
in books
they are more
constructive less
destructive
I will give you ideas
things I keep in my brain
not as close to my chest
I don't want you to feel
uneasy

Yet can I stay here head flat on this
polished wood-searching to only please you with ideas?
Will I care for you as me?
take a breath and grab my pen?
will I write to you
a story
truth or fantasy?
fairytales fade like old
leather shoes
Ill write you something
you wont lose
it will be
dark and dreary
pages of tears
and letters of dreams
rolling like waves
shaped as hearts
red colors on open seas
littered like gold
musical notes
every chord
something new
drums of my past
and cymbals of
my future
little things
that fill my lungs
and beg me to laugh
sounds of birds
and trees that loom
the Truth
that makes me walk straight and not
stay in gloom
my passion for this
my longing for that...
gluing together learned phrases
on green chalk boards
running and falling in
cool tight air
and silk sunshine
laying in deep grass and thinking
thinking up
the sky
tea in blue cups and spinning through
fables reaching new heights
and crying on my table
paper over here
and screaming over there
ice-cream and
truth and dares.
jumping ecstatic and im sorrys
all wrapped with a bow. this book could last a life time
i just think you should know.
I run up to you beaming
I wrote you a book with
ruffled up paper bent,

it is...a
happy
heartfelt
first draft.

Ah, yes this is me
I can breathe
He sketched it and says
I am found and a beauty.

I'll stop and look
to see if your eyes are kind too
if so
then
I hope you don't mind Sir,
if I read some of you?

For now
take chapter 1.
unravel me.
and I will
you.

Written by Laura Welch...

"What if loneliness is the cost?

Would you still go?

Would you still run?

Would he still hear your desperate cry?

Would you still love Him?

“Take the world!

But give me Jesus.”

I will walk this road. He is so worthy…

I write this because I sense times ahead when I am going to feel alone. Yes, God made us to not be alone. He made us for relationship. He made us for community. And I sense a time before me in which I will miss those who understand who I really am, that I’m not perfect, that I’m not your priest, that I am not better at following Jesus than you are. I’m broken, frail, fragile, needy, weak, poor…and if I seem intense, it’s because Jesus is my lifeline. I depend on him to LIVE. So if I seem crazy, it’s for him.

And I will cling to Him even it means I must feel alone.

For I shall never BE alone. He is ever with me. God never forsakes me. I can cling to One who is SO faithful."

-Laura Welch

*sigh and smile* God you know I needed this!

Jeremiah 15:

15 O Lord, You know; Remember me and visit me, And take vengeance for me on my persecutors. In Your enduring patience, do not take me away. Know that for Your sake I have suffered rebuke. 16 Your words were found, and I ate them, And Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart; For I am called by Your name, O Lord God of hosts. 17 I did not sit in the assembly of the mockers, Nor did I rejoice; I sat alone because of Your hand, For You have filled me with indignation.

18 Why is my pain perpetual And my wound incurable, Which refuses to be healed? Will You surely be to me like an unreliable stream, As waters that fail?

19 Therefore thus says the Lord: "If you return, Then I will bring you back; You shall stand before Me; If you take out the precious from the vile, You shall be as My mouth. Let them return to you, But you must not return to them. 20 And I will make you to this people a fortified bronze wall; And they will fight against you, But they shall not prevail against you; For I am with you to save you And deliver you," says the Lord. 21 "I will deliver you from the hand of the wicked, And I will redeem you from the grip of the terrible."

There is nothing, naturally speaking, that makes us lose heart quicker than decay—the decay of bodily beauty, of natural life, of friendship, of associations, all these things make a man lose heart; but Paul says when we are trusting in Jesus Christ these things do not find us discouraged, light comes through them.
The Place of Help
-Chambers

I have a Hero...

Qualities of a prince:
Respected, Attractive, Loyal, Brave, Honorable, Admired...yet...

Psalm 146

---

The LORD an Abundant Helper.

1 Praise the LORD!
Praise the LORD, O my soul!

2 I will praise the LORD while I live;
I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.

3 Do not trust in princes,
In mortal man, in whom there is no salvation.

4 His spirit departs, he returns to the earth;
In that very day his thoughts perish.

5 How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
Whose hope is in the LORD his God,

6 Who made heaven and earth,
The sea and all that is in them;
Who keeps faith forever;

7 Who executes justice for the oppressed;
Who gives food to the hungry.
The LORD sets the prisoners free.

8 The LORD opens the eyes of the blind;
The LORD raises up those who are bowed down;
The LORD loves the righteous;

9 The LORD protects the strangers;
He supports the fatherless and the widow,
But He thwarts the way of the wicked.

10 The LORD will reign forever,
Your God, O Zion, to all generations.
Praise the LORD!

Affection is a coal
that must be cooled
else suffered,
it will set the heart on fire
the sea hath bounds,
but deep desire hath none.
-Shakespeare



Desire without Discipline= DISASTER.


proverbs 31:17
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

On my Return from Nippon

my heart is somewhere
across the sea
Its currently not with me
but nestled somewhere safely
in Nippon.
Maybe you can hear it on the crowded
silent subway
or maybe at UDAI
in the dark library
I'm sure I left it at
Joyful House
or Tomo's House
somewhere admist the busy kitchen
lofted with spells of miso and
fresh rice.
they are all brimming with laughter
struck with hope
waiting with the doors open
inviting a crowd of smiling friends
to open up red words
and drink and drink...
im sure my heart is there somewehere-
and I wonder how long it should be
each day goes by like a ghost
I wonder if the ghost is me.
each movement a slow formula
no passion to feed hungry veins
i flip through my days like the dry
newspaper that crumbles and is
thrown aside...again and again.
The only spark of inspiration comes
as a dull flame at the thought of
crying friends
but quickly today rushes in and the spark is
out again.
i burned a wild fire a week ago
each moment sparkling in
a heated red glow
filled with awe
taking steps of thunder
helping to pull
pulling people out of ruble
seeing the sky open new lights
the sun rising high into the waiting blue black
speaking words i never have
trusting victories
given to me one by one
on His behalf
and now im sitting in a quiet room
my sword and shield to the side
coasting in a sad lagoon
of missing them
missing You
heart
you were made so new
come back so i can move
come back so I can battle through
come back so I can be used
afraid to tread outside
I sit in front of panes
as big as moons
"You can never have too much sky." said Cisnerous
and that is true.
so come into my little dim room,
while I beg for sky
on the other side
because it is too quiet here
the sky on those hills
has me still.
They took me well.
I can
hear
beating beating beating
over waters
steady beating
like a drum.