i dont want to care anymore.
when i care i am helpless
and i pour out showers
of pain
that mirror this solemn day
this heart frozen as my pale hands
under this grey, shivering canopy.
the earth covered..shimmering,wet
under sheets of, rain
paints a picture of a deep hidden part
of my yearning, hoping heart
i am always wanting
always wanting.
and the hands that i sit
and wait eagerly, earnestly for
those hands
stay empty,
offering doses of disappointment
that become hard to swallow.
harder to drink down
every time.
it stings as taste it
and my eyes wince.
these subtle gifts of nothing,
flow through me
like cold water
rushing though hot veins.
closing doors on fanciful ideals.
i numbly walk through a steal wind
on this day blotted with dull shades
and i see myself
in every frigid leaf and broken branch.
waiting still, silently
for the gentle fingers of
glowing warmth, to come through
heavy clouds
waiting still
to be touched.
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