On my Return from Nippon

my heart is somewhere
across the sea
Its currently not with me
but nestled somewhere safely
in Nippon.
Maybe you can hear it on the crowded
silent subway
or maybe at UDAI
in the dark library
I'm sure I left it at
Joyful House
or Tomo's House
somewhere admist the busy kitchen
lofted with spells of miso and
fresh rice.
they are all brimming with laughter
struck with hope
waiting with the doors open
inviting a crowd of smiling friends
to open up red words
and drink and drink...
im sure my heart is there somewehere-
and I wonder how long it should be
each day goes by like a ghost
I wonder if the ghost is me.
each movement a slow formula
no passion to feed hungry veins
i flip through my days like the dry
newspaper that crumbles and is
thrown aside...again and again.
The only spark of inspiration comes
as a dull flame at the thought of
crying friends
but quickly today rushes in and the spark is
out again.
i burned a wild fire a week ago
each moment sparkling in
a heated red glow
filled with awe
taking steps of thunder
helping to pull
pulling people out of ruble
seeing the sky open new lights
the sun rising high into the waiting blue black
speaking words i never have
trusting victories
given to me one by one
on His behalf
and now im sitting in a quiet room
my sword and shield to the side
coasting in a sad lagoon
of missing them
missing You
heart
you were made so new
come back so i can move
come back so I can battle through
come back so I can be used
afraid to tread outside
I sit in front of panes
as big as moons
"You can never have too much sky." said Cisnerous
and that is true.
so come into my little dim room,
while I beg for sky
on the other side
because it is too quiet here
the sky on those hills
has me still.
They took me well.
I can
hear
beating beating beating
over waters
steady beating
like a drum.