i am ready

to find you.

im sorry i picked this and that and him too.

i cant be happy following my fables

why can i not remember that

they will never do

you told me once, twice

a million more

im crushed because i want to believe you

let me let go im

sorry i cling to idols

its so hard to say no

but if i hold these things

my arms full to the brim

thinking only of him

or of me

actually

and

what i want to win

well then i am

not your disciple

at all

you said if anyone would follow they

must lose it all.

whats left i think

starring down a path

that looks like there is no way to pass

i have nothing because it is yours

this will be a hard road

i tear my clothes

i make a pile of all these things

not my will

but yours

but

do i turn away?

surely i will only

dig my own grave.

where oh

God

where shall I go?

But to you...you speak everything true

and clean, you

lean in and hand me a beam

sorrowful savior you look me in the eyes and whisper

"trust me daughter, and follow me."

John 6:⁶⁷ So Jesus said to the Twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” ⁶⁸ Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, ⁶⁹ and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.”