"Not all who Wander are Lost"- jrr tolkien

i dont know what i am doing
i hope you know
and i dont know who i am anymore

I want to see you so badly it is true
but all i see is all of me
and none of you

i see a girl
who knows your story
has to be true

this cosmic universe is so complicated
no one could have made it but You

But oh

I sit so utterly removed
so sadly confused and
i misuse
whats given
and it is dreadfully true

i am wandering jrr.

but  i am lost

find me Jesus
I beg you.

This has just been
one dark summer.

how ironic.

there has been splashes of happiness
here and there.

But over all it has felt cold and bare.

I tremble at the wasted time

and frown lines.

"We are all going to die anyway"

kept me awake all night.

what am i living for anyway?

it feels like I am nothing

searching for nothing
how pleasent
how cruel

meaningless
fool.