old prose i wrote -words of the past

what is an addiction?
can one be addicted to something other than a drug?
is there something as powerful as substance addictions?
well that answer is yes.
because you can be addicted to something in your life detrimental to your existence.. that has nothing to do with you physically.
its a heart thing, a soul thing a love thing.
love - the greatest addiction of them all
breaks barriers moves people moves lives.
what happens when lust disguised as love takes hold of your heart?
how do you break free from the pain of wanting something that will only leave you wounded?
how do you break free from making the same mistake..over and over..and over..again.
looking back only leaves you desolate..wondering where your strength went..and how it was stolen away by your fixation.
everyone seems to know... everyone seems to have it together. these perfect pillars of sanity.. make you feel like falling on the weak knees of inadequacy.
how could you? how could you do it to yourself? someone so loved so cherished so embraced.
where came the need for acceptance.. acceptance from a thief of truth a giver of malice a figure...of your imagination.
o how the human mind wanders! and creates a nightmare into a romantic saga.
yet the truth never falters.
when you wake up ..you will still break into a sweat.trembling from truth reveled from the light shining on your scars from the image in a clear mirror of...you.
caramel eyes shining tears filling to the rim.
your addiction has taken you to question the person within.
you are loved here on this physical thriving planet.
but you have been siezed in love, captured in love, caught in love, wrought in love...by the most high.
you.. a daughter of the king.
what made you betray your position.
your position to be a truth giver..and a light.
you tied the rope around your wrists.
you watched as you delved deeper..into your sin.
you hid it you grew it..into an addiction.
an addiction different from the rest.
because it has a name it has a face..
your addiction birthed in lust wrapped in emotion grew into care.
genuine pure care thrown to the wind meaning nothing.
what do you do when you realize you were wrong?
when you look at the face of your friends and the pain isnt all gone?
disappointment..
from them to you.. a gift that can break your heat yet lead you to something new.
but i have no shame in life... no fear in death..
i was bought with a price...
He saw my sin
He saw my addiction
that has been holding me tight
He saw the mistakes I kept making
over and over and over...again.
though almost unthinkable i default in such doings..
somehow He knew
and loves me through it.
a righteous man will fall 700 times ..
but will always get up.
so i get up.
we have to.
to remain would be to ignore the truth of your freedom
your freedom bought with the blood of your lover..
so dust me off break the shackles tied to my heart
turn me around and carry me
these are the tough times
where for once you realize
your strength..is simply not enough
your strength..your own will power.. has become nothing in the face of your storm.
but peace be still in the thundering corners of your heart.
the peace that surpases understanding
will bind overflowing wounds placed by your. addiction.
should i remain still and stare blindly in my defeat?
wondering how could i why did i so many times?
no.
to do so will keep me.there.
so move.
all we have is this present moment.
to live or dwell anywhere else..
is cheating us out of abundant seconds minutes and hours..
and out of a future marred not by defeat.. but by a new beginning.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!