today
I am determined.
today
I have been pulled out;
of a false reality..
now my eyes feel wide and open.
today I can see the battle.
it was raging fierce and strong-all along!
but Im not looking for a new way out
Ive tried that all before.
I run to my General's side
with my hands open wide
I breathlessly take the belt of truth
and with desperation I grab the sword and shield.
with His grace I put my helmet on
and I remember who I am
although I wandered into the enemy's camp again
and ate with the dreaded foe
My captain came and dragged me out
and opened my eyes to their plots and schemes
once more.
the subtle lies had swept me up and blinded
even the battle that rose all around.
but today standing on the lines
the air is clear.
and though the war rage,i do not remain
lost and idle trapped on the other side!
no, now I am ready; truly engaged.
There are only two choices- to fight
or return again as a slave.
clenching my sword I know
I have only to fight for my glory and
joy.
I am a prisoner of war no more.
with my armor on I look up to see
The faithful General standing sure beside me.
my rescuer
and lead.
all thoughts of what is to come
And every need or want
fled.
For today my General broke through the wiles of this bitter war
to find me
and bring
me
back.
2 cor. 10:3-5
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
i feel as if
i am watching myself
as one watches the trees
change from bright green
to dull shades in winter.
Like a simple surveyor I am helpless;
no one can stop the seasons.
to put an end to their turning
i remember summer was there
alive,
singing birds, bright sun, crowds drunk
in laughter
but i watched it turn
to solemn cold, and quiet.
taking on a different persona.
chill and numb to heat and warmth.
i wait and watch for
the season's turning...
and for my own.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
God. forgive me
i have sinned against you
and you alone.
and deep down
into my heart
i long to give you the things i hold on to
because
i miss you.
walking in your shadow
and hearing;
knowing your voice
in my sorrow
you made me smile
you gave me hope
you quieted my
racing longing heart
and this valley
has made me someone else
i do not know
cold and conformed
to lesser ideals
doubtful
and stoic
if there is any hope to
feel
to gain wisdom
to see you again
i beg you in the name of Jesus
to bend your ear to
your lost child
and bring me back home.
i only
ever feel
okay
when
i am
close
to
you.
i have sinned against you
and you alone.
and deep down
into my heart
i long to give you the things i hold on to
because
i miss you.
walking in your shadow
and hearing;
knowing your voice
in my sorrow
you made me smile
you gave me hope
you quieted my
racing longing heart
and this valley
has made me someone else
i do not know
cold and conformed
to lesser ideals
doubtful
and stoic
if there is any hope to
feel
to gain wisdom
to see you again
i beg you in the name of Jesus
to bend your ear to
your lost child
and bring me back home.
i only
ever feel
okay
when
i am
close
to
you.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
i cannot think
my mind is clouded
and im trying to write papers
that are dripping with facts and numbers
when the only lines
that come to me are fitted
in prose..
flowery words
and images
big and small
and
beautiful.
mechanics
oh how i wish i could embrace them!
and that the ink of my pen
would flow!
it has been dry
for
far
too
long..
inspiration
i am longing for it
craving for
the right
words.
my mind is clouded
and im trying to write papers
that are dripping with facts and numbers
when the only lines
that come to me are fitted
in prose..
flowery words
and images
big and small
and
beautiful.
mechanics
oh how i wish i could embrace them!
and that the ink of my pen
would flow!
it has been dry
for
far
too
long..
inspiration
i am longing for it
craving for
the right
words.
Friday, November 13, 2009
You shall be a CROWN OF BEAUTY in the hand of the LORD, a ROYAL DIADEM in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed FORSAKEN, and your land shall no more be termed DESOLATE but you shall be called MY DELIGHT IS IN HER and your land MARRIED, for the Lord delights in you, and your land shall be married. For as a young man marries a young woman . . . and as a bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you. (Isaiah 62:3-5)
attepting to write a paper on work
Here is the American dream.
Watch quick before 70 years of life pass you by.
Work as hard as you can, and gain as much wealth as possible.
Then your family will be happy and lives will be worth something.
And when you retire your boat and camero will be the perfect prize.
The high seas will call you and the road beckon you.
You will deck out your home with flat screen tvs
and then you will sit in front of them and find more things you need to buy.
The retirement money running out,
you will get a job again to pay for that watch you want and your wife's necklace.
Then your life will end, and all that you purchased will still be here.
Quick take hold to the American dream
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
i refuse I REFUSE
to give my heart away
any longer
oh would you
bind
my wandering
heart to you
hold
it
in your strong shepherd hands
and guard
and protect it
and keep it
and fill it
overwhelm it
was satisfaction.
let the want go away
and overflow and spill
with
with your
all powerful
consuming
unfailing
steadfast
love
i
just cant any longer
when left to my own devices
i
only
paint and wear
masks to impress
that dont incite a bit
of interest
but rather
casual
looks that turn away
and im left
wishing
to be known.
to give my heart away
any longer
oh would you
bind
my wandering
heart to you
hold
it
in your strong shepherd hands
and guard
and protect it
and keep it
and fill it
overwhelm it
was satisfaction.
let the want go away
and overflow and spill
with
with your
all powerful
consuming
unfailing
steadfast
love
i
just cant any longer
when left to my own devices
i
only
paint and wear
masks to impress
that dont incite a bit
of interest
but rather
casual
looks that turn away
and im left
wishing
to be known.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
amen AMEN father help us guide us !
"forge a new path in your life. do not settle for the lesser ideals that we've been told we can't exceed. fight to conquer complacency & you will see a brighter horizon. remember truth and fight to preserve it. don't be afraid of failure. if you fight your best, kid,you haven't failed. never deny the urge to be better, to rise above, to stand alone in the name of truth, justice, service, hope, and most of all, love."
Saturday, October 31, 2009
where do i find my worth?
my affirmation?
my confirmation?
my approval?
where do i begin?
me? the real me?
and where does the molded me begin?
the sculpted image?
that grows and reshapes?
according to
other human beings, fallible corrupting
as myself?
why doesnt this source within me
who i am
grow
and spring forth
from your eternal
spring
your powerful words
how is it that i am shaped
by lesser things
and lesser thoughts
about who i am
how is it that i dont solidify my being
in who YOU say that i am Lord?
my affirmation?
my confirmation?
my approval?
where do i begin?
me? the real me?
and where does the molded me begin?
the sculpted image?
that grows and reshapes?
according to
other human beings, fallible corrupting
as myself?
why doesnt this source within me
who i am
grow
and spring forth
from your eternal
spring
your powerful words
how is it that i am shaped
by lesser things
and lesser thoughts
about who i am
how is it that i dont solidify my being
in who YOU say that i am Lord?
Friday, October 30, 2009
John 21:1-7
1 Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Tiberias. It happened this way: 2 Simon Peter, Thomas (called Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. 3 "I'm going out to fish," Simon Peter told them, and they said, "We'll go with you." So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. 4 Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. 5 He called out to them, "Friends, haven't you any fish?" "No," they answered. 6 He said, "Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some." When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish. 7
Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, "It is the Lord," he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.
Lord make me run to you no matter what anyone else is doing with no question!
Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, "It is the Lord," he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.
Lord make me run to you no matter what anyone else is doing with no question!
scribbled notes from today..the start of a longer cry to God. thank the Lord for writing as release!
my heart is weeping
it trembles inside
my fragile chest
the tears from it
are burning
they run hot
through me.
it trembles inside
my fragile chest
the tears from it
are burning
they run hot
through me.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
oct 25 after womens retreat
i can truly say
that i feel blessed
i dont know how you do it God
how you love me
with this steadfast love
and somehow you choose to restore me
even when i run away with my fears.
u are still
here
and your word still floods in
and overpowers my fearful
doubting
sin stained
heart.
and you shine brand new light
in its dark corners
again
and again
your love never
fails
it
endures
and remains
and restores
and i do not know why
but
you are my God.
and i am yours
and i am thankful. :)
that i feel blessed
i dont know how you do it God
how you love me
with this steadfast love
and somehow you choose to restore me
even when i run away with my fears.
u are still
here
and your word still floods in
and overpowers my fearful
doubting
sin stained
heart.
and you shine brand new light
in its dark corners
again
and again
your love never
fails
it
endures
and remains
and restores
and i do not know why
but
you are my God.
and i am yours
and i am thankful. :)
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Romans 2:28
God i want you,
i don't think anyone
understands
that i
just
want
you.
and minisrtry
means nothing
without
you.
and my smiles
are like cutting knives
my care
is cold and insincere
my preaching
is empty
and weak
my pleasing
is cheap
its fraud.
my hugs are
daggers
my spiritual talk
a loud
incoherent
ramble.
striking
Your ears.
shut me up, O God
and clean the
inside of my cup
that sparkles bright on
its outside.
i don't think anyone
understands
that i
just
want
you.
and minisrtry
means nothing
without
you.
and my smiles
are like cutting knives
my care
is cold and insincere
my preaching
is empty
and weak
my pleasing
is cheap
its fraud.
my hugs are
daggers
my spiritual talk
a loud
incoherent
ramble.
striking
Your ears.
shut me up, O God
and clean the
inside of my cup
that sparkles bright on
its outside.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
today
was magnificent.
the day was brilliant
the colors vivid
its amazing how cool weather
can crystalize scenery
making trees and
street signs looks clean
and pure
the breeze was perfect.
this day spun with a morning tour
tuna sandwich
swing dancing
with beautiful people,
sitting in the cold on my porch
with a hot chai latte- it cant get better im sure
and having happy conversation with my roomate,
watching a choir sing to our God
and feeling the bliss of the cold
rushing in new chapters
exciting
waiting to unfold.
the day was brilliant
the colors vivid
its amazing how cool weather
can crystalize scenery
making trees and
street signs looks clean
and pure
the breeze was perfect.
this day spun with a morning tour
tuna sandwich
swing dancing
with beautiful people,
sitting in the cold on my porch
with a hot chai latte- it cant get better im sure
and having happy conversation with my roomate,
watching a choir sing to our God
and feeling the bliss of the cold
rushing in new chapters
exciting
waiting to unfold.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
im tired
so tired
sprinting
nearly out of breath
aching to keep up.
when will i walk?
sore limbs
faded green
eyes
straining to stay open
their light flickers in
and out
to catch a picture
of life
but the images
keep running fast
before their glazed stare
how can i capture its blurring speed
spinning with bright and dull
colors, mixing.
i close my eyes
i lay down on the cold floor, its quiet,
beckons me
woos me away
from the noise
and the failure.
a story
of trials and
errors
defended by the
feel of the cool air
streaming through open
window panes
rustling through leaves of open, unread books.
the music echoing in the distance
its calming melodies
tracing back whispering memories.
breathe deep catch a moment
and taste it
stay.
here.
still.
until you
are pulled,
ripped
into a mad run
tripping and falling. fighting
and bleeding
reaching and losing.
when?
will i bend and
touch soft
red petals
in sheer wonder
again.
leaning in a field of green;
kissed in the morning's dew.
my heart fiends for time to stop
to drink in again
the
doses
of
still
gleaming treasures
hiding inside today.
so tired
sprinting
nearly out of breath
aching to keep up.
when will i walk?
sore limbs
faded green
eyes
straining to stay open
their light flickers in
and out
to catch a picture
of life
but the images
keep running fast
before their glazed stare
how can i capture its blurring speed
spinning with bright and dull
colors, mixing.
i close my eyes
i lay down on the cold floor, its quiet,
beckons me
woos me away
from the noise
and the failure.
a story
of trials and
errors
defended by the
feel of the cool air
streaming through open
window panes
rustling through leaves of open, unread books.
the music echoing in the distance
its calming melodies
tracing back whispering memories.
breathe deep catch a moment
and taste it
stay.
here.
still.
until you
are pulled,
ripped
into a mad run
tripping and falling. fighting
and bleeding
reaching and losing.
when?
will i bend and
touch soft
red petals
in sheer wonder
again.
leaning in a field of green;
kissed in the morning's dew.
my heart fiends for time to stop
to drink in again
the
doses
of
still
gleaming treasures
hiding inside today.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Psalm 40
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
2 He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
3 He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the LORD.
Friday, September 18, 2009
ahh!! thnks for your consolations ! psalms 94:19
I know this life I lead will pass away
Along with every other earthly thing
So I will set my heart on a higher plain
Where my treasure lies with You
And in this marriage of our hearts
There is no death do us part
For You are eternal
And I am eternally Yours
And I could never lose Your love to sickness
Oh I could never lose You to divorce
And there's no concept of abandonment
For I am safe within Your arms
And in this marriage of our hearts
There is no death do us part
For You are eternal
And I am eternally Yours
Oh I am eternally Yours
I am eternally Yours
I never had enough until I found You
I never knew love until I met You
I never had enough until I found You
And now I have everything
I could never lose You
No I will never lose You
I could never lose You
And this life will pass away
But You will never change
Along with every other earthly thing
So I will set my heart on a higher plain
Where my treasure lies with You
And in this marriage of our hearts
There is no death do us part
For You are eternal
And I am eternally Yours
And I could never lose Your love to sickness
Oh I could never lose You to divorce
And there's no concept of abandonment
For I am safe within Your arms
And in this marriage of our hearts
There is no death do us part
For You are eternal
And I am eternally Yours
Oh I am eternally Yours
I am eternally Yours
I never had enough until I found You
I never knew love until I met You
I never had enough until I found You
And now I have everything
I could never lose You
No I will never lose You
I could never lose You
And this life will pass away
But You will never change
love is here
Come to the waters, you who thirst and you'll thirst no more.
Come to the father, you who work and you'll work no more.
And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed:
Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from
His hands, from his brows.
Love is near, it satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
Cuz love is here.
Come to the treasure, you who search and you'll search no more.
Come to the lover you who want and you'll want no more, no.
And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed,
Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from his hands, from his brows.
Love is near, it satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
And to the bruised and fallen,
Captives, bound, and broken hearted.
He is the lord
He is the lord,
By his stripes he's paid our ransom
From his wounds we drink salvation
Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from his hands, from his brows.
Love is near,
It satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
Cuz love is here
Love is here.
Come to the father, you who work and you'll work no more.
And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed:
Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from
His hands, from his brows.
Love is near, it satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
Cuz love is here.
Come to the treasure, you who search and you'll search no more.
Come to the lover you who want and you'll want no more, no.
And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed,
Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from his hands, from his brows.
Love is near, it satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
And to the bruised and fallen,
Captives, bound, and broken hearted.
He is the lord
He is the lord,
By his stripes he's paid our ransom
From his wounds we drink salvation
Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from his hands, from his brows.
Love is near,
It satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
Cuz love is here
Love is here.
thank you God...:)
Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I'm
Learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies!!
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I'm
Learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies!!
Can you hear me? Does anyone around me
Feel the way that I feel now?
Cause from the window where I sometimes cry
I just want to see Your face tonight
And I'm willing to lose everything I am
Cause I need you more than ever
I need Your help to find where I've been going wrong so far
Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone.
When You're near me, I feel like I just found me
In the traces of the girl from yesterday
But in a world that is so black and white
I will take the steps to change my life
And I won't be coming back to here again
I need Your loving hand to guide me
Through the maze of all the things inside me
Then I'll know that I'm alright
Cause I need You more than ever
I need Your help to find where I've been going wrong so far
Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone
Please help me get from worse to better
Before these tears soak through this lonely sweater
And let me know that I'm alright
I still have one strike of this match left
And I'm holding on to my last breath
And its getting a little dark around to see here
Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in your eyes
Hold on it will be alright
You're not alone
And You'll be here forever, forever You'll stay
And You promised to love me, You'll love me always
Feel the way that I feel now?
Cause from the window where I sometimes cry
I just want to see Your face tonight
And I'm willing to lose everything I am
Cause I need you more than ever
I need Your help to find where I've been going wrong so far
Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone.
When You're near me, I feel like I just found me
In the traces of the girl from yesterday
But in a world that is so black and white
I will take the steps to change my life
And I won't be coming back to here again
I need Your loving hand to guide me
Through the maze of all the things inside me
Then I'll know that I'm alright
Cause I need You more than ever
I need Your help to find where I've been going wrong so far
Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone
Please help me get from worse to better
Before these tears soak through this lonely sweater
And let me know that I'm alright
I still have one strike of this match left
And I'm holding on to my last breath
And its getting a little dark around to see here
Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in your eyes
Hold on it will be alright
You're not alone
And You'll be here forever, forever You'll stay
And You promised to love me, You'll love me always
Saturday, September 12, 2009
my heart at the present
heart cry heart cry
more and more
over your inadequacy
your eyes are blind and cant see heaven
your head hangs low and you eat the dust of the earth
again and again
you who were once free?
who walked in the life?
why why must you forget
and live as a slave
anxiously toiling
in vain
sowing into
a corrupting world
for the satisfaction
of your corruting heart.
forgive us
all is vanity and chasing wind except the fear of the Lord
-Ecclesiastes
more and more
over your inadequacy
your eyes are blind and cant see heaven
your head hangs low and you eat the dust of the earth
again and again
you who were once free?
who walked in the life?
why why must you forget
and live as a slave
anxiously toiling
in vain
sowing into
a corrupting world
for the satisfaction
of your corruting heart.
forgive us
all is vanity and chasing wind except the fear of the Lord
-Ecclesiastes
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
i love you i do
and i shouldn't
makes no sense-
a love that is lost.
i let my hands release
you to the
chill dark open sky
littered with stars
there on a wind
i pray you find your peace
i pray that the maker
whispers
dripping gold
words of truth
into your beautiful
deaf ears.
and may you be revived
to live and breathe within
this glowing universe
an existence that will run on-
and meet me in
the silver clouds and dawning light
of eternity.
and i shouldn't
makes no sense-
a love that is lost.
i let my hands release
you to the
chill dark open sky
littered with stars
there on a wind
i pray you find your peace
i pray that the maker
whispers
dripping gold
words of truth
into your beautiful
deaf ears.
and may you be revived
to live and breathe within
this glowing universe
an existence that will run on-
and meet me in
the silver clouds and dawning light
of eternity.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
to the broken
we've got closed eyes
walking in dark rooms
blindfolds tightly bound
hands shaky
reaching out for truth
can you feel it
from your yearning fingers
that there's something more
than
nothing
its become all you know
this march of pleasure
just spiraling down..
but-everything is still unseen
arent your eyes tired from searching empty corners?
riding this fast
ship wrecked bound
voyage
smiling at a certain fate.
when will your soul cry
loud
loud enough
when will your knees hurt
hard enough..from falling
when will your lonely hands reach far enough
to touch
the wounds
of grace
walking in dark rooms
blindfolds tightly bound
hands shaky
reaching out for truth
can you feel it
from your yearning fingers
that there's something more
than
nothing
its become all you know
this march of pleasure
just spiraling down..
but-everything is still unseen
arent your eyes tired from searching empty corners?
riding this fast
ship wrecked bound
voyage
smiling at a certain fate.
when will your soul cry
loud
loud enough
when will your knees hurt
hard enough..from falling
when will your lonely hands reach far enough
to touch
the wounds
of grace
Monday, July 6, 2009
1 john 2:16
For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh,
the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-
is not of the Father but is of the world.
the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-
is not of the Father but is of the world.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
hm.convicting..
God, thanks for showing me these verses...
i have been so anxious.. trying to plan and do all my own things,
relying solely on myself.. and just consumed with thoughts..
God forgive me ...ALL is vanity but the fear of the Lord..teach me to fear you.
psalm 127:1-2
1 Unless the Lord builds the house,those who build it labor in vain.Unless the Lord watches over the city,the watchman stays awake in vain.
2 It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,eating the bread of anxious toil;for he gives to his beloved sleep.
thank you..
i have been so anxious.. trying to plan and do all my own things,
relying solely on myself.. and just consumed with thoughts..
God forgive me ...ALL is vanity but the fear of the Lord..teach me to fear you.
psalm 127:1-2
1 Unless the Lord builds the house,those who build it labor in vain.Unless the Lord watches over the city,the watchman stays awake in vain.
2 It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,eating the bread of anxious toil;for he gives to his beloved sleep.
thank you..
Sunday, June 14, 2009
psalm 42:1-2
Psalm 42: 1-2
As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
lord, forgive me please. i just cant believe myself..
i am selfish and run from the truth.
make me a virtuous woman.
make me a woman who fears you;
in all things.
forgive me Father, for going my own way, again..
this isnt what i want,
the "good" things of the world.. leave me empty and
sad..siting here..unsatisfied and disappointed in myself
change my heart God.
i am selfish and run from the truth.
make me a virtuous woman.
make me a woman who fears you;
in all things.
forgive me Father, for going my own way, again..
this isnt what i want,
the "good" things of the world.. leave me empty and
sad..siting here..unsatisfied and disappointed in myself
change my heart God.
Monday, June 1, 2009
start a new page
let this
blank canvas
become your home,
a brilliant stage
jump and splash
broad colors
on this empty, pure,
sky.
let your heart overflow
and spill out with no order,
upon this still, waiting, plain.
blank canvas
become your home,
a brilliant stage
jump and splash
broad colors
on this empty, pure,
sky.
let your heart overflow
and spill out with no order,
upon this still, waiting, plain.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Psalm 84
1 How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! 2 My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. 3 Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young-- a place near your altar, O Lord Almighty, my King and my God. 4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you. Selah 5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. 6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. 7 They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
8 Hear my prayer, O Lord God Almighty; listen to me, O God of Jacob. Selah 9 Look upon our shield, O God; look with favor on your anointed one. 10 Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. 11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. 12 O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
i dont want to watch
i dont want to move
i just want to listen
to the stillness of this moment
to the beauty of each heart beat
handed patiently
each second
to me.
i just want to feel you
taste the words
from your mouth
i run away from the others
and fall into your arms.
i dont want to hear accounts stories and testimonies
be encouraged and cry with emotions
i just want your voice
your truth
your sound
to reign.
i dont need a good word a good sound a good talk
i just need the true Word this true life
from you.
My King i am here.
AND WANT NOTHING MORE
then your eyes to gaze upon me
your words to heal and guide me
and your hands to lead me.
you are-the God of all comfort.
i dont want to move
i just want to listen
to the stillness of this moment
to the beauty of each heart beat
handed patiently
each second
to me.
i just want to feel you
taste the words
from your mouth
i run away from the others
and fall into your arms.
i dont want to hear accounts stories and testimonies
be encouraged and cry with emotions
i just want your voice
your truth
your sound
to reign.
i dont need a good word a good sound a good talk
i just need the true Word this true life
from you.
My King i am here.
AND WANT NOTHING MORE
then your eyes to gaze upon me
your words to heal and guide me
and your hands to lead me.
you are-the God of all comfort.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
may 20,2008
i am scrubbed clean.
but outside is so appealing.
is dirt really dirty?
i dont think so.
the colors are brilliant.
the sky is singing a song.
with a breeze that waves back and forth..
i think im welcomed..
i let this song lay me in a bed
of green grass and home of ants.
they dont mind.
and neither do i.
my eyes are alive.
with the clouds and trees plastered againt a clear sky..
maybe this is what we were made for.
to be in wonder.
but outside is so appealing.
is dirt really dirty?
i dont think so.
the colors are brilliant.
the sky is singing a song.
with a breeze that waves back and forth..
i think im welcomed..
i let this song lay me in a bed
of green grass and home of ants.
they dont mind.
and neither do i.
my eyes are alive.
with the clouds and trees plastered againt a clear sky..
maybe this is what we were made for.
to be in wonder.
your absense (11/24/08)
my heart
is beating
and coming out of my chest
sinks low in my stomach
raises high to my throat
i want to throw it up
and let the sickness disappear.
when my eyes close
i see you.
and i cant anymore.
when i walk on a cloudy, chilly day
the trees all dead reaching helplessly
upward
for a taste of sun,
i wince as i see a reflection
of me inside their hollow branches,
searching.
if when i lay
and close my eyes,
walk under crystal skies,
laugh with low expectations,
and sit with shallow breathes,
i didn't see
your caring hands
grabbing the ends of my fingers
whispered words
and honest feelings.
creases around your smile,
and eyes glimmering with
tears of passion-
maybe i could ramble
through life's everydays,
with out the deafening
sound
of your absence.
is beating
and coming out of my chest
sinks low in my stomach
raises high to my throat
i want to throw it up
and let the sickness disappear.
when my eyes close
i see you.
and i cant anymore.
when i walk on a cloudy, chilly day
the trees all dead reaching helplessly
upward
for a taste of sun,
i wince as i see a reflection
of me inside their hollow branches,
searching.
if when i lay
and close my eyes,
walk under crystal skies,
laugh with low expectations,
and sit with shallow breathes,
i didn't see
your caring hands
grabbing the ends of my fingers
whispered words
and honest feelings.
creases around your smile,
and eyes glimmering with
tears of passion-
maybe i could ramble
through life's everydays,
with out the deafening
sound
of your absence.
Awake (oct 21, 2008) (old stuff----but feels like today).
God
Maker
I write in vain tonight
i ask questions, I have no answers
I slip off my chair and cry
for humanity
i cant reach
my hands and feet are stuck
beneath the weight of my
lack
of understanding
i let confusion trick me
and thoughts invade my head, my eyes
blur at the thought of not knowing
who you are and what you said
why do i question
your love
so deep?
i want to hold on but i am feeling out of reach
i am closed. i am cold. i am void of knowledge.
yet if i were to attain it
my answer would not be found
books lie, dust covered and useless.
a smart mind and many words
will not gain your approval.
in my fury, in my fight
in my plight, i wont acquire your ways
they are higher than mine,
me the created.
i cant fathom you divine.
i yell.
but no one can hear.
but you my King
bend down your ear,
to hear the cry of your daughter,
a heart crushed
to seek her Father
and know His love.
open the door
and show me your wisdom.
hold my heart secure,
in the bonds of
your Shepherd hands.
the walls of my mind
stay closed-
i await for you-
to whisper peace and understanding
into the empty corners of fractured words and skewed thoughts.
author.
perfecter of all i believe
i await your story.
let me see it through your eyes-
mine are tainted
mine are poor.
i see hazes and figures, but nothing sure.
questions; they slide between my tears.
shine your face upon me
i am in need
find me here.
- Luke 10:38-42
- 38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" 41 "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
Saturday, April 25, 2009
found on a scratch notebook paper..haha result of idleness
Taste and see
The coast side dark, is asleep,
with its high uneven stones, and looming palm trees.
they draw breathlessly near
to the calm, untouched, green sea.
the white foam lazy, is drifting
up and down
upon still, shiny, black rocks;
sharp and cool.
each tired wave slides forward
and retreats back shyly.
it waits to gain confidence
but wanders back again
for a .taste. of earth.
up high,
the dawn is breaking
through dim, hazy clouds.
a righteous
warm glow
is falling
down
slowly
to this, still,quiet scene.
patiently covering
with new,
glistening light.
The coast side dark, is asleep,
with its high uneven stones, and looming palm trees.
they draw breathlessly near
to the calm, untouched, green sea.
the white foam lazy, is drifting
up and down
upon still, shiny, black rocks;
sharp and cool.
each tired wave slides forward
and retreats back shyly.
it waits to gain confidence
but wanders back again
for a .taste. of earth.
up high,
the dawn is breaking
through dim, hazy clouds.
a righteous
warm glow
is falling
down
slowly
to this, still,quiet scene.
patiently covering
with new,
glistening light.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
i miss you Lord. i wish you here. i am sorry for denying you. im sorry fordenying you. from being cheated by cheap and hollow philosophy. dont let me go. i miss you. flood me with your presence. i dont want anything . nothing i want no one i want no thing in this wretched world. i want your presence i want to feel you here with me. i want you please this is all i want. i am disgusted with myself i want none of me all of you minimise me. i need you desperatly. keep me broken and be all i want all i need.Jesus draw near. solidify capture me break me speak to me through your HOLY WORDS. you are all i have there is nothing i desire.. keep me like this keep me like this
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
april 15, 2009
i dont want to care anymore.
when i care i am helpless
and i pour out showers
of pain
that mirror this solemn day
this heart frozen as my pale hands
under this grey, shivering canopy.
the earth covered..shimmering,wet
under sheets of, rain
paints a picture of a deep hidden part
of my yearning, hoping heart
i am always wanting
always wanting.
and the hands that i sit
and wait eagerly, earnestly for
those hands
stay empty,
offering doses of disappointment
that become hard to swallow.
harder to drink down
every time.
it stings as taste it
and my eyes wince.
these subtle gifts of nothing,
flow through me
like cold water
rushing though hot veins.
closing doors on fanciful ideals.
i numbly walk through a steal wind
on this day blotted with dull shades
and i see myself
in every frigid leaf and broken branch.
waiting still, silently
for the gentle fingers of
glowing warmth, to come through
heavy clouds
waiting still
to be touched.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
hello world
Declaration! Declaration!
to the world
realize. wake up
from your cold bed sheets
let your eyes open and catch the light and wonder
what a mystery
it is that you are there.
in that place.
breathing
breaths and you are a being.
living in a world spinning
spinning in a universe
dashed with milky ways-
you are microscopic
less then nothing
in the scope of all of -this.
oh oh how we make this
colorful bleeding pounding racing calm world-
common.
this insanity of existing.
perplexing .
how can your mind wrap around..
the image staring back at you
in a mirror.
Oh who made these intricate features
this consciousness
that we move and cry and laugh and play inside?
listen...
as you lie awake for
the sound of the melodious cry
within you searching
pulsing
for God.
to the world
realize. wake up
from your cold bed sheets
let your eyes open and catch the light and wonder
what a mystery
it is that you are there.
in that place.
breathing
breaths and you are a being.
living in a world spinning
spinning in a universe
dashed with milky ways-
you are microscopic
less then nothing
in the scope of all of -this.
oh oh how we make this
colorful bleeding pounding racing calm world-
common.
this insanity of existing.
perplexing .
how can your mind wrap around..
the image staring back at you
in a mirror.
Oh who made these intricate features
this consciousness
that we move and cry and laugh and play inside?
listen...
as you lie awake for
the sound of the melodious cry
within you searching
pulsing
for God.
Monday, March 30, 2009
amen
The great need of our time is for people to experience the living reality of God by hearing his word personally and transformingly in Scripture. Something is incredibly wrong when the words we hear outside Scripture are more powerful and more affecting to us than the inspired word of God. Let us cry with the psalmist, “Incline my heart to your word” (Psalm 119:36). “Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law” (Psalm 119:18). Grant that the eyes of our hearts would be enlightened to know our hope and our inheritance and the love of Christ that passes knowledge and be filled with all the fullness of God (Ephesians 1:18; 3:19). O God, don’t let us be so deaf to your word and so unaffected with its ineffable, evidential excellency that we celebrate lesser things as more thrilling..
john piper
john piper
Friday, March 20, 2009
scattered thoughts
depravity
depravity
the one word i can use
to describe
each
and every
one of us
being's
condition
such a state i am in
to think to look and reflect upon myhearts condition
then compare to a holy God?
i am almost numb at the inadequacy
i do not cry do not flinch my position
i am unable to be perfection
utmost loving
and caring
devoted
and selfless
no matter how many times i plead why
why i fall short.
this is the curse on humanity.
and here i am
rich.
bathing in comfort
deceived at the thought that
"this is what i deserve"
and worse..wanting craving more?
insanity.
alseep i walk
to the vision of eternity
i am a blind man calling and crying out
and you whisper words of comfort
and touch my eager eyes.
awaken us Lord
to the REALITY
of the gospel
and the REALITY
of the current state of our hearts
and this world.
let us redeem the time Father.
and live with the urgency for which you called.
a broken and contrite spirit is what i have and offer to you.
Micah 6:8
He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?
depravity
the one word i can use
to describe
each
and every
one of us
being's
condition
such a state i am in
to think to look and reflect upon myhearts condition
then compare to a holy God?
i am almost numb at the inadequacy
i do not cry do not flinch my position
i am unable to be perfection
utmost loving
and caring
devoted
and selfless
no matter how many times i plead why
why i fall short.
this is the curse on humanity.
and here i am
rich.
bathing in comfort
deceived at the thought that
"this is what i deserve"
and worse..wanting craving more?
insanity.
alseep i walk
to the vision of eternity
i am a blind man calling and crying out
and you whisper words of comfort
and touch my eager eyes.
awaken us Lord
to the REALITY
of the gospel
and the REALITY
of the current state of our hearts
and this world.
let us redeem the time Father.
and live with the urgency for which you called.
a broken and contrite spirit is what i have and offer to you.
Micah 6:8
He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
calling people who walk the straight and narrow sorowful and beautiful joyous road with Jesus Christ
we ARE sorrowful yet always rejoicing.
God is most glorified
when we are most satisfied in Him.
be radical.
take risks
Trust and jump.
He promises to catch us.
find joy in being called obsessed zealous or different.
brothers;sisters, we have been given a holy calling.
to know Him and make Him known.
the world will see difference
when we live boldly for our King
and no other
selflessly
with no compromising
unconditionally loving
i pray that our lukewarm hearts would be set a blaze.
bc i dont want to live this mediocre life anymore.
we are called to walk in the midst of this dying world
to fight the good fight -
but not alone
with Christ by our side all the way
be in it give up your life so you can find it on this battle field called earth
and find your joy in partnering with the God of the universe
being His tool to rescue those.. as you have been so lovingly rescued.
what other point to life than this?
God is most glorified
when we are most satisfied in Him.
be radical.
take risks
Trust and jump.
He promises to catch us.
find joy in being called obsessed zealous or different.
brothers;sisters, we have been given a holy calling.
to know Him and make Him known.
the world will see difference
when we live boldly for our King
and no other
selflessly
with no compromising
unconditionally loving
i pray that our lukewarm hearts would be set a blaze.
bc i dont want to live this mediocre life anymore.
we are called to walk in the midst of this dying world
to fight the good fight -
but not alone
with Christ by our side all the way
be in it give up your life so you can find it on this battle field called earth
and find your joy in partnering with the God of the universe
being His tool to rescue those.. as you have been so lovingly rescued.
what other point to life than this?
Sunday, March 1, 2009
amazing
okay ladies
India arie has it down. listen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXEE7Pi6iQ
Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't
Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul
I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be the india arie
When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
And I know our creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I'm lovin' what I see
Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but, what she knows
But, I've drawn a conclusion, it's all an illusion, confusion's the name of the
game
A misconception, a vast deception
Something's gotta change
but,Don't be offended this is all my opinion
ain't nothing that I'm sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share with
y'all
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Clear your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
'Cuz everything's gonna be all right
Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I don't need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your caviar
All I need is my guitar
Keep your Kristal and your pistol
I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Don't need your silicone I prefer my own
What God gave me is just fine
I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a QUEEN
India Arie- BEAUTIFUL FLOWER
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Zbn7Khv8zM
This is a song for every girl who's
Ever been through something she thought she couldn't make it through
I sing these words because
I was that girl too
Wanting something better than this
But who do I turn to
Now we're moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives
'Cause you're beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind
There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient
This is a song for every girl who
Feels like she is not special
'Cause she don't look like a supermodel Coke bottle
The next time the radio tells you to shake your moneymaker
Shake your head and tell them, tell them you're a leader
Now we're moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives
'Cause you're beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind
There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient
India arie has it down. listen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXEE7Pi6iQ
Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't
Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul
I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be the india arie
When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
And I know our creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I'm lovin' what I see
Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but, what she knows
But, I've drawn a conclusion, it's all an illusion, confusion's the name of the
game
A misconception, a vast deception
Something's gotta change
but,Don't be offended this is all my opinion
ain't nothing that I'm sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share with
y'all
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Clear your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
'Cuz everything's gonna be all right
Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I don't need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your caviar
All I need is my guitar
Keep your Kristal and your pistol
I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Don't need your silicone I prefer my own
What God gave me is just fine
I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a QUEEN
India Arie- BEAUTIFUL FLOWER
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Zbn7Khv8zM
This is a song for every girl who's
Ever been through something she thought she couldn't make it through
I sing these words because
I was that girl too
Wanting something better than this
But who do I turn to
Now we're moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives
'Cause you're beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind
There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient
This is a song for every girl who
Feels like she is not special
'Cause she don't look like a supermodel Coke bottle
The next time the radio tells you to shake your moneymaker
Shake your head and tell them, tell them you're a leader
Now we're moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives
'Cause you're beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind
There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient
Thursday, February 26, 2009
greater things
Lord I believe that you will do immeasurably MORE than I CAN EVEN HOPE OR IMAGINE.
there is no one like our GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GREATER THINGS HAVE YET TO COME IN THIS CITY. YOU ARE THE WAY THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE JESUS.
WATCH AND BE ENCOURAGED-FOR THERE IS NO ONE LIKE OUR GOD!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmC44K0xQLE&feature=related
there is no one like our GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GREATER THINGS HAVE YET TO COME IN THIS CITY. YOU ARE THE WAY THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE JESUS.
WATCH AND BE ENCOURAGED-FOR THERE IS NO ONE LIKE OUR GOD!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmC44K0xQLE&feature=related
Sunday, February 22, 2009
BURN IN ME -the Glorious unseen
FATHER
you accept me as i am... you love me..right now weak and fragile.. worth not much.. you thought i was worth your life? how? how can that be. i am microscopic..in the scheme of things..but you see me? how. how can it be. a love like that. i want to understand it.how could i doubt you. you are in everything i see Lord. every step i take.. what a blessing. i am here-a miracle. how quick i forget and think i deserve all of this. how can i think that? you gave me the heart beating in my chest. what more could i do -then to give it back to you. everything. i dont want it anymore. i want to trade it all . to know you..to walk with you .hold my hand and burn in me. how i long to be broken before you.i want to do things your way i want to know you more. i want you and NO OTHER. i want to risk it in the waves i want my heart to be broken for what breaks your heart.let me trust you in all things.see my heart Jesus. come burn in me.
burn in me-the glorious unseen
Fire of God
Burn in me
Capture my heart again
Pull me through
Make me clean
I'm reaching for your love
Come carry me now
I'm crying out
For someone I can not see
Come carry me now
I'm crying
How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love accepts me as I am
Breath of God
Breathe on me
Hold me in your hands
Take my life
This offering
And use me where I am
Come carry me now
I'm crying out
For someone I can not see
Come carry me now
I'm crying
How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love accepts me as I am
How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love accepts me as I am
Come burn in me
Come burn in me
Come burn in me
Burn in me
listen.to.it.
http://www.purevolume.com/thegloriousunseen
you accept me as i am... you love me..right now weak and fragile.. worth not much.. you thought i was worth your life? how? how can that be. i am microscopic..in the scheme of things..but you see me? how. how can it be. a love like that. i want to understand it.how could i doubt you. you are in everything i see Lord. every step i take.. what a blessing. i am here-a miracle. how quick i forget and think i deserve all of this. how can i think that? you gave me the heart beating in my chest. what more could i do -then to give it back to you. everything. i dont want it anymore. i want to trade it all . to know you..to walk with you .hold my hand and burn in me. how i long to be broken before you.i want to do things your way i want to know you more. i want you and NO OTHER. i want to risk it in the waves i want my heart to be broken for what breaks your heart.let me trust you in all things.see my heart Jesus. come burn in me.
burn in me-the glorious unseen
Fire of God
Burn in me
Capture my heart again
Pull me through
Make me clean
I'm reaching for your love
Come carry me now
I'm crying out
For someone I can not see
Come carry me now
I'm crying
How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love accepts me as I am
Breath of God
Breathe on me
Hold me in your hands
Take my life
This offering
And use me where I am
Come carry me now
I'm crying out
For someone I can not see
Come carry me now
I'm crying
How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love accepts me as I am
How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love accepts me as I am
Come burn in me
Come burn in me
Come burn in me
Burn in me
listen.to.it.
http://www.purevolume.com/thegloriousunseen
Thursday, February 19, 2009
power in present
your all running.
with time behind you
silver clouds.
on a grey day
chalky highway
infront.
your legs cant take it
you are barely making it
you are fighting gasping breathing
for fresh air
to keep you going.
behind you nothing fits
scattered pieces and torn pictures eclipse
in front theres no sign.
no form no shape as plain as night
but in this moment...
with your sweat beading palms
reaching back
and forth
and the sound of fearless trods beneath you-
there you are.
you are colorful and sure.
you pause for a moment
but then get up for more.
a tender smile
as things start to take shape
where you came from
where youll stay
doesnt matter
its how you finish the race.
with time behind you
silver clouds.
on a grey day
chalky highway
infront.
your legs cant take it
you are barely making it
you are fighting gasping breathing
for fresh air
to keep you going.
behind you nothing fits
scattered pieces and torn pictures eclipse
in front theres no sign.
no form no shape as plain as night
but in this moment...
with your sweat beading palms
reaching back
and forth
and the sound of fearless trods beneath you-
there you are.
you are colorful and sure.
you pause for a moment
but then get up for more.
a tender smile
as things start to take shape
where you came from
where youll stay
doesnt matter
its how you finish the race.
Monday, February 16, 2009
thank you Christ for paving a way for us to know a holy God. wow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsgwfliQoqg
Saturday, February 14, 2009
VDAY
HAD THE BEST VDAY EVER
GOD IS SO GOOD
GOD IS LOVE.
BIBLES+CANDY+SHARING+BARN DANCE+HARD CORE SQUARE DANCING+NAVIGAT0R FOLK+BONFIRE+MARSHMALLOWS?
CAN IT GET BETTER? REALLY.:D
GOD IS SO GOOD
GOD IS LOVE.
BIBLES+CANDY+SHARING+BARN DANCE+HARD CORE SQUARE DANCING+NAVIGAT0R FOLK+BONFIRE+MARSHMALLOWS?
CAN IT GET BETTER? REALLY.:D
NEW every MORNING.
My Lord your compassion are new every morning. great is your faithfulness.
you know what is crazy? how God can take my brokenness and assure me
that He alone is God- and my joy is found in Him. wow. Praise Him.
Check this
Lamentations 3:21-44
22 Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." 25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. 27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. 28 Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. 29 Let him bury his face in the dust-- there may yet be hope. 30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. 31 For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. 32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. 33 For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men. 34 To crush underfoot all prisoners in the land, 35 to deny a man his rights before the Most High, 36 to deprive a man of justice-- would not the Lord see such things?
you know what is crazy? how God can take my brokenness and assure me
that He alone is God- and my joy is found in Him. wow. Praise Him.
Check this
Lamentations 3:21-44
22 Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." 25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. 27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. 28 Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. 29 Let him bury his face in the dust-- there may yet be hope. 30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. 31 For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. 32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. 33 For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men. 34 To crush underfoot all prisoners in the land, 35 to deny a man his rights before the Most High, 36 to deprive a man of justice-- would not the Lord see such things?
37 Who can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not decreed it? 38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come? 39 Why should any living man complain when punished for his sins? 40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
BEAUTIFUL.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzhAlxT2_H0
i've never any time to play
it always seems to slip away
or it never really goes by
while i wait here with my level head
for our only try
sing with your head up
with your eyes closed;
not because you love the song,
because you love to sing
because you love to sing, oh
you saw frustration on my brow
you noticed i'm distracted now.
i'm thinking only of my billfold
and how I want to face you with
diamonds and gold in my hand, in my hand
sing with your head up
with your eyes closed
not because you love the song
because you love to sing
because you love to sing, oh
i've never any time to play
it always seems to slip away
or it never really goes by
while i wait here with my level head
for our only try
sing with your head up
with your eyes closed;
not because you love the song,
because you love to sing
because you love to sing, oh
you saw frustration on my brow
you noticed i'm distracted now.
i'm thinking only of my billfold
and how I want to face you with
diamonds and gold in my hand, in my hand
sing with your head up
with your eyes closed
not because you love the song
because you love to sing
because you love to sing, oh
old prose i wrote -words of the past
what is an addiction?
can one be addicted to something other than a drug?
is there something as powerful as substance addictions?
well that answer is yes.
because you can be addicted to something in your life detrimental to your existence.. that has nothing to do with you physically.
its a heart thing, a soul thing a love thing.
love - the greatest addiction of them all
breaks barriers moves people moves lives.
what happens when lust disguised as love takes hold of your heart?
how do you break free from the pain of wanting something that will only leave you wounded?
how do you break free from making the same mistake..over and over..and over..again.
looking back only leaves you desolate..wondering where your strength went..and how it was stolen away by your fixation.
everyone seems to know... everyone seems to have it together. these perfect pillars of sanity.. make you feel like falling on the weak knees of inadequacy.
how could you? how could you do it to yourself? someone so loved so cherished so embraced.
where came the need for acceptance.. acceptance from a thief of truth a giver of malice a figure...of your imagination.
o how the human mind wanders! and creates a nightmare into a romantic saga.
yet the truth never falters.
when you wake up ..you will still break into a sweat.trembling from truth reveled from the light shining on your scars from the image in a clear mirror of...you.
caramel eyes shining tears filling to the rim.
your addiction has taken you to question the person within.
you are loved here on this physical thriving planet.
but you have been siezed in love, captured in love, caught in love, wrought in love...by the most high.
you.. a daughter of the king.
what made you betray your position.
your position to be a truth giver..and a light.
you tied the rope around your wrists.
you watched as you delved deeper..into your sin.
you hid it you grew it..into an addiction.
an addiction different from the rest.
because it has a name it has a face..
your addiction birthed in lust wrapped in emotion grew into care.
genuine pure care thrown to the wind meaning nothing.
what do you do when you realize you were wrong?
when you look at the face of your friends and the pain isnt all gone?
disappointment..
from them to you.. a gift that can break your heat yet lead you to something new.
but i have no shame in life... no fear in death..
i was bought with a price...
He saw my sin
He saw my addiction
that has been holding me tight
He saw the mistakes I kept making
over and over and over...again.
though almost unthinkable i default in such doings..
somehow He knew
and loves me through it.
a righteous man will fall 700 times ..
but will always get up.
so i get up.
we have to.
to remain would be to ignore the truth of your freedom
your freedom bought with the blood of your lover..
so dust me off break the shackles tied to my heart
turn me around and carry me
these are the tough times
where for once you realize
your strength..is simply not enough
your strength..your own will power.. has become nothing in the face of your storm.
but peace be still in the thundering corners of your heart.
the peace that surpases understanding
will bind overflowing wounds placed by your. addiction.
should i remain still and stare blindly in my defeat?
wondering how could i why did i so many times?
no.
to do so will keep me.there.
so move.
all we have is this present moment.
to live or dwell anywhere else..
is cheating us out of abundant seconds minutes and hours..
and out of a future marred not by defeat.. but by a new beginning.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
can one be addicted to something other than a drug?
is there something as powerful as substance addictions?
well that answer is yes.
because you can be addicted to something in your life detrimental to your existence.. that has nothing to do with you physically.
its a heart thing, a soul thing a love thing.
love - the greatest addiction of them all
breaks barriers moves people moves lives.
what happens when lust disguised as love takes hold of your heart?
how do you break free from the pain of wanting something that will only leave you wounded?
how do you break free from making the same mistake..over and over..and over..again.
looking back only leaves you desolate..wondering where your strength went..and how it was stolen away by your fixation.
everyone seems to know... everyone seems to have it together. these perfect pillars of sanity.. make you feel like falling on the weak knees of inadequacy.
how could you? how could you do it to yourself? someone so loved so cherished so embraced.
where came the need for acceptance.. acceptance from a thief of truth a giver of malice a figure...of your imagination.
o how the human mind wanders! and creates a nightmare into a romantic saga.
yet the truth never falters.
when you wake up ..you will still break into a sweat.trembling from truth reveled from the light shining on your scars from the image in a clear mirror of...you.
caramel eyes shining tears filling to the rim.
your addiction has taken you to question the person within.
you are loved here on this physical thriving planet.
but you have been siezed in love, captured in love, caught in love, wrought in love...by the most high.
you.. a daughter of the king.
what made you betray your position.
your position to be a truth giver..and a light.
you tied the rope around your wrists.
you watched as you delved deeper..into your sin.
you hid it you grew it..into an addiction.
an addiction different from the rest.
because it has a name it has a face..
your addiction birthed in lust wrapped in emotion grew into care.
genuine pure care thrown to the wind meaning nothing.
what do you do when you realize you were wrong?
when you look at the face of your friends and the pain isnt all gone?
disappointment..
from them to you.. a gift that can break your heat yet lead you to something new.
but i have no shame in life... no fear in death..
i was bought with a price...
He saw my sin
He saw my addiction
that has been holding me tight
He saw the mistakes I kept making
over and over and over...again.
though almost unthinkable i default in such doings..
somehow He knew
and loves me through it.
a righteous man will fall 700 times ..
but will always get up.
so i get up.
we have to.
to remain would be to ignore the truth of your freedom
your freedom bought with the blood of your lover..
so dust me off break the shackles tied to my heart
turn me around and carry me
these are the tough times
where for once you realize
your strength..is simply not enough
your strength..your own will power.. has become nothing in the face of your storm.
but peace be still in the thundering corners of your heart.
the peace that surpases understanding
will bind overflowing wounds placed by your. addiction.
should i remain still and stare blindly in my defeat?
wondering how could i why did i so many times?
no.
to do so will keep me.there.
so move.
all we have is this present moment.
to live or dwell anywhere else..
is cheating us out of abundant seconds minutes and hours..
and out of a future marred not by defeat.. but by a new beginning.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Monday, February 9, 2009
DEVOTION
anyone can be devoted-whole heatedly-to anything
devoted to the point
of tears
devoted to the point of pain
devoted to the point of prayer
and sacrifice
no doubt there lies
sincerity in devotion
no doubt that true emotion
overflows from dedication and fervor
but alas.
when each dying breath has gone
no matter how much you were devoted
what matters is Who.
Who and what were you devoted to?
when all is said and done.
that
will
make
all
the
difference.
devoted to the point
of tears
devoted to the point of pain
devoted to the point of prayer
and sacrifice
no doubt there lies
sincerity in devotion
no doubt that true emotion
overflows from dedication and fervor
but alas.
when each dying breath has gone
no matter how much you were devoted
what matters is Who.
Who and what were you devoted to?
when all is said and done.
that
will
make
all
the
difference.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
the way-by telecast
Give me words to praise and you love to love you
But it has to be you
Give me words to praise and you love to love you
But it has to be you
Take away the selfishness take away the pride
But it has to be you
You are the only way I’ll go, you are only truth I know
You are the way, the truth and the life
You are the only way for me
And Jesus your love is a mystery
Give me and knowledge to know you power to serve you
But it has to be you
Take away the fear take away the shame
But it has to be you
You are the only way I’ll go, you are only truth I know
You are the only life worth living for
You are the way, the truth and the life
You are the only way for me
You are the way the truth and the life
You are the only way for me
And Jesus your love is a mystery
Your love is mystery
Your love is mystery
But it has to be you
Give me words to praise and you love to love you
But it has to be you
Take away the selfishness take away the pride
But it has to be you
You are the only way I’ll go, you are only truth I know
You are the way, the truth and the life
You are the only way for me
And Jesus your love is a mystery
Give me and knowledge to know you power to serve you
But it has to be you
Take away the fear take away the shame
But it has to be you
You are the only way I’ll go, you are only truth I know
You are the only life worth living for
You are the way, the truth and the life
You are the only way for me
You are the way the truth and the life
You are the only way for me
And Jesus your love is a mystery
Your love is mystery
Your love is mystery
Thursday, February 5, 2009
part of a prayer i wrote to God about a week and a half ago and now found. i was sitting in my dim cozyish room and let my heart overflow.
i am confused about the human condition
when will it be my chance
to love
to break free
to have the ending
where faces sulk and eyes get wet
and everyone is smiling
selfish spirrit
focus on others
yet my mind waits for a dream come true
but how so?
in a wretched world
spun with evil
will
a beautiful life
unravel
from its tight life pulsing
grasps
i dont know
i want to feel
i want someone to
feel with me
the same
and consitant
holding hands standing on te edge of
the unknown
is a beautiful
thing to behold
im willing
i am ready
my heart is always
hoping enduring ready to love till
i cant anymore.
who could love me back like that?
pure and endless
constant..
i sit here wondering..
if i will ever find that on earth.
my chances are immensly slim.
the movies and pictures.. miror a lie.
but truth flows from
the pages
of the BOOK
and i have no where to
go
but the foot of Him
who wrote them.
let me wait on you.
joyfully. my hope.
i want to love you
i want to know you King.even love
here on earth.. with all its vigor
is nothing
ccompared to how you love me..
captivate me
stop me . pursue me God
when will it be my chance
to love
to break free
to have the ending
where faces sulk and eyes get wet
and everyone is smiling
selfish spirrit
focus on others
yet my mind waits for a dream come true
but how so?
in a wretched world
spun with evil
will
a beautiful life
unravel
from its tight life pulsing
grasps
i dont know
i want to feel
i want someone to
feel with me
the same
and consitant
holding hands standing on te edge of
the unknown
is a beautiful
thing to behold
im willing
i am ready
my heart is always
hoping enduring ready to love till
i cant anymore.
who could love me back like that?
pure and endless
constant..
i sit here wondering..
if i will ever find that on earth.
my chances are immensly slim.
the movies and pictures.. miror a lie.
but truth flows from
the pages
of the BOOK
and i have no where to
go
but the foot of Him
who wrote them.
let me wait on you.
joyfully. my hope.
i want to love you
i want to know you King.even love
here on earth.. with all its vigor
is nothing
ccompared to how you love me..
captivate me
stop me . pursue me God
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